Well there has been a lot going on lately. I have had several good friends mention things about life change, career/school decisions, and I thought I would throw my life update in.
You may recall some months back I preached at church. Rather than try to follow Mike's lesson plan I just kinda went with what was on my heart. I talked about purpose and passion, and how God plants these seeds of fire in you that we are meant to pursue. After all a career in a lucrative field is fine and dandy but a journey with the Lord is much more fun. At the time I was not happy with my job, but not simply because of the job. I was unhappy with my career choice. This culminated with my trip to Wyoming when I clearly heard "simplify your life", knowing that I had to stop software engineering as a private venture.
So I did that. I stopped developing outside of work. Then I changed jobs, which you've read the update here. All of this was in the midst of becoming "the" youth minister. After it was all done I still felt restless. I know God has purpose not in the past or in the future, but right now. I was having a hard time seeing it.
But then things started to unfold. About two weeks ago I had this conversation with Mike, and after wards things began to get clearer and clearer. Finally I feel like I see a paved road in front of me. Not a dirt road with twists and turns through the forest: An actual paved road. I feel like God has set some things in motion that cannot be easily described, but I see them. Looking back I now realize some very mysterious things He was doing, and while I was sitting there sorry for myself I was missing it. There is peace in seeing God's hands at work.
My restlessness has settled down quit a bit since then. I have been trying really hard not to tell everyone all the stuff that's been going on. I just don't want to blow it before it all actually happens you know? That's why this is supposed to be an "obscure" life update. But still I have let details slip out because I am just so freaking excited about it.
Best of all without that restlessness I am able to be present. I am reacting to what's going on now rather than what I want to happen or what's happened in the past. I am living now, not living then or not will be living, I am alive now.
So I suppose I have some encouragement for my friends who are in similar spots. This is for you guys who are also looking for the paved path. Maybe you're asking yourself should I change jobs, should I change schools, should I move away or dig in deeper here? Its tough deciding what to do, but read the word and be IN God. The answers will come. You might have to patiently wait for something, but if you're looking you will find it. And as an added bonus we have each other. A community of people searching for the same answers in different contexts. There's power in each other, so use what resources you do have. (John 15:7, Psalms 119:105, Jeremiah 29:13)
Ya Heard, Zane
