Help I lost my Stuff

Well I don't know if you all remember or not, but on September 13, 2008 hurricane Ike made landfall in Galveston, Texas. You also may remember that my mom moved from the Ham to Galveston in Spring of 2006 in pursue a dream of love and fresh start to life.

Somehow I don't think she envisioned fleeing her home from a hurricane as part of that dream.

Oh well...such is life.

I remember now talking to her prior to Ike's landfall. I remember trying to talk her into evacuating. At first she didn't want to battle the traffic and they didn't have a place to stay. I remember Leo (my mom's new hubby) was extremely resistant to evacuating. After all he had lived on the island his entire life and never once suffered a severe hurricane. I can understand their lives were based in Galveston. It was the city that brought them together. It was a major decision for mom to move into a tiny house built in the 30's from a nicer house in Alabama. To leave her friends and family of 25 years behind. They didn't want to evacuate it. Eventually the Mayor's Office issued a fairly stern warning to all Galveston residents that their lives would be in jeopardy if they didn't flee...fortunately my folks decided they were convinced.

Ike made landfall and literally wiped out the island. Going back now it looks completely different. Houses and major landmarks and now empty lots. There are work trucks and debris piles everywhere. My moms house took over a foot of water, and the house is five feet off of the ground. That's six feet of water 20 blocks from the ocean. That is a significant tidal surge.

Needless to say my folks have been "homeless" since then. They had rented a sub-par one bedroom place in Texas City while the renovations on their house took place.

It has been a stressful year for my parents. Not only did they lose priceless possessions in the storm, they've also been pushed to the limits with their marriage. The contracting company that they signed with has proven to be a brood of vipers: over-charging for simple tasks, lying about payment to subcontractors, refusing to finish jobs, etc. So far one lien has been placed on the house because the company hasn't paid their bonding company. I'm sure my parents will be forced into court to resolve the matter. In the end my parents have got their ducks in a row and they'll be fine, but the stress of dealing with such dishonesty in the wake of a tragedy is truly a pain in the ass. I feel bad for them.

So I pray for them.

I went and helped them move back into the house this last weekend. It was a stressful trip full of manual labor, but ultimately a joyful one too. I was glad to see them back in their home after all of the drama. Though it wasn't constant hugs and kisses my parents seem to be doing well and I know they're looking forward to adjusting back to their routine.

Still they have suffered a great loss they may never fully recover from. It just brings to mind this verse in Mathew 6. The gist is this "Don't waste time building wealth in money or possessions, its all going to be garbage someday anyway" (The Zaner Standard Version).

So the odd thing about the house is they basically got a free upgrade. The house need to be renovated big time, and the insurance came through in a big way on that. The biggest cost of the whole ordeal will be the months of stress and fighting.

And I'm left here thinking is it worth it? I mean sure they have a nice house, but they could have easily moved somewhere else. They could have moved to Houston or Texas City or Kansas or Bama. All of those options wouldn't have strained their marriage as much. Its all just stuff...

I wonder what it would be like if we would stand on the outside of our lives and ask ourselves if all of this is really necessary. We live in the most consumer-centric nation in the world. We've become creatures of stuff. And I'm guilty of this too.

I just think it could all be different you know.

Who Put the Chapters in the Bible Anyway?

Did you know Anthony Hopkins plays Paul in a movie. I find that pretty dang funny.

So I wanted to update my blog. Well actually let me be honest. The office is pretty quiet right now so I didn't have anyone to talk to so I decided to update my blog. Well now that you feel second best-ed let me post something of value.

I love this scripture. It makes me feel like a complete screw up but it helps me realize I'm not alone as a screw up. Paul himself was a total mess, and somehow knowing that he was a mess makes me feel better for being a mess. Lets get to it.

"21-23 It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

24 I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."

So that's in Romans 7 at the very end. I read this and it is truly depressing. Think about it: the freakin' Apostle Paul is saying he's at the end of his rope because I can't seem to do right by denying sin. So if Paul can't do it how am I suppose to? So instead I typically try to ignore my sin...

I mean I know I'm a screw up. I know I have sin in my life that needs to be dealt with. But I can live with myself because in the back of my mind I'm thinking that I WILL deal with it someday. EVENTUALLY I will figure things out, get on my feet and get this whole mess off of my back. But then I read this and I'm like what's the point? Is Paul saying we can't conquer sin, or we can't do right even when we want to? Depressing eh?

Rabbit Trail: So I'm just calling it, whoever put the chapters in the Bible...you know the numbers and verses and stuff...well they weren't always right. I don't think anyway. You have to remember this is a letter to the Roman Church. He did not notate his letters with chapters and verses. Somebody added that later. Well here is why they were wrong: You have to read chapter 8 after you read chapter 7. If you read to the end of 7 you'll just be like SCREW THIS!!! NO. Don't do that, you've got to keep going. So here we go.

"1-2With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

3-4God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that."

That's the first part of Romans 8. So Paul kinda ties it all up right there. The problem is so easily solved with Jesus.

I think the reason I love this scripture so much is because it describes my life with God. I mess up, some days A LOT. But at the end of the night, if I take the time to talk with my God, He is always like "its ok dude, I love you and you love me. I forgive you." You know how awesome that makes me feel? So awesome. God loves me. So much so that Jesus came, and died. Now I have grace. I have mercy. I am found! That's pretty cool.

What I get most from thinking about this scripture is that I should not dwell on sin. That's what Paul was saying in 7. When you focus sooo much on doing right (obeying the law) its a major blow when you do wrong. Talk about a let down. But if you focus on Christ it won't matter. Christ's death reverses the grip of sin on us, and replaces it with a one on one, straight up, relationship with the Father in Heaven.

Now that is why I love this scripture! So next time somebody is whining about Romans 7 (though I haven't heard much whining from people other than myself) just tell 'em to read 8 and it'll be alright.

My Sheep Will Hear My Voice

So there's this bible verse I've been thinking about lately. It is Jesus talking to his disciples and the religious leaders and he says something like "You crazy pharisees. You don't understand me because you are not my sheep. My sheep will recognize my voice and follow me."*

I have been really struggling with this verse lately. There's one problem in my life I just can't figure out. Well this isn't really a problem as much as it is a fork in the road. I'm not sure which direction to take. There's definitely one path I would prefer, but I'd be cool with the other. Neither of them lead away from righteousness so I can't make decisions on that. But I'm anxious to know which path is right so I can be settled on it. So I pray "Hey God if this isn't right, man close this door. Otherwise tell me what to do! What path do I take?"

So I've been sitting patiently every night (almost) for the last few weeks praying mostly about this one particular thing. I'll sit on my porch, which is the most peaceful place in my life, and just talk to God. Sometimes I'll beg, sometimes I'll whine, and sometimes I'm cool with everything...but I mention this problem every single night.

Now here's an issue mmkay. Some nights I will hear God clear as a bell, and the next I won't. Instead of hearing God clearly I'll hear myself: my heart, my mind, my flesh, the devil, whatever. But I don't always hear God, which really sucks. When I do hear God He doesn't give me the details I want. He just says stuff like "Be patient. You're doing great. I love you. Let go of control." Well that definitely doesn't settle me down hahaha. Which is why I struggle with this verse. I'm God's sheep aren't I? Why don't I always hear and recognize His voice?

At least I'm aware enough to realize the devil speaks to me, and I speak to myself. After all I'm just trying to scam my way into my own selfish desires and not God's. So that's probably the central problem: me wanting my way instead of the Right Way.

So here's another piece of this problem pie. I think the reason I'm staying so "committed" to praying about this, is because I'm hoping God will change His answers to suit my desires. Sounds crazy I know, but I keep praying and I'm sure He's staying the same, but I keep asking JUST IN CASE something changes. To make matters worse God hasn't closed the door to this problem, in fact He might have opened the door in the first place.

"Ugh. You're such an idiot." - Napoleon Dynamite

So the rest of the verse (I suck at) goes kinda like this: "My sheep know and trust my voice. I walk into the pen where they are held and I call them by name. I know them and they know me. I lead them out of the pen and we go for a stroll because they trust me."

God has plans, He really does. And honestly I'm extremely blessed to even have problems like this: things I can take to God and be like "Help me out here." Its a blessing to be surrounded by Godly people that make me grow closer to God, instead of growing closer to myself. So God has this problem all figured out, and if I would just let go of control and follow him out of the freakin' pen then I would realize that.

* Mathew 10:25-30