Holiness Kinda

I've always considered myself to be a pretty liberal Christian. When I say liberal I mean the opposite of legalistic. My pastor, Mike, explains it like this: A legalistic Christian sets up and enforces rules and cultural standards that protect us from sin, whereas liberal Christian forsakes all of that for more of a try not to sin but don't get too worried about it approach. Both of these ways of thinking (I refuse to call them theologies) translate to people differently.

Some people seem to do really well under a legalistic approach to God. You know some people just need those tangible boundaries and a clear idea of when they've crossed the line. Others, like me, seem to feel more comfortable and open to God with a more liberal approach. Of course both have there pros and cons, and I'm not here trying to sell anyone on one way or the other.

What I'm getting at is I've realized some problems with my liberal approach. Mike says that the liberal way of thinking often gets confused as a license to sin. What he's saying is that people eventually will train themselves to think that sin is alright because we've got grace and mercy. As long as God forgives us we mights as well do whatever the heck we want right? Well clearly that is a problem.

Finally here is an even more quirky part of the whole no boundaries kind of thinking. The more mature I get the more liberal I get. And I mean mature like closer to God. The closer to God I get the more I realize that sin IS covered and that His Grace and His Mercy is much much bigger than my faults. Even more so I find I have more grace and mercy and forgiveness for others. So am I reinforcing a loophole in my beliefs, and in turn in instilling these loopholes in others?

I had a great conversation last night and we examined this exact problem. Ultimately we agreed that a real-deal hold nothing back relationship with God is the key. Taking our American Christian culture as an example, what are we left with if we strip away the rules, the boundaries, and the cultural standards we get from legalism? Now what if we also get rid of the license to sin we get from liberalism? What is left to help us deal with sin? By removing these methods of sin, or methods that prohibit sin, we are left with our relationship with Christ. If we are Christ-centric then following rules won't matter, just like that license to sin becomes a pile of bull-malarkey. If we are striving for the heart of God then we land on Jesus, and Him alone. That's all that really matters. See the scripture below, its spelled out pretty plainly.

So yeah I feel like I'm pretty liberal. This post started because I'm feeling very convicted in some areas, which as a liberal Christian is an odd feeling. But I do feel God drawing me to Holiness and frankly it sucks giving up things that please me. But rather than focusing on my past mistakes, and rather than agonizing over the sacrifices yet to be made, I chose to follow Christ. I will let him be the example, and critic, and savior.

To be mature is to be basic. Christ! No more, no less. That's what I'm working so hard at day after day, year after year, doing my best with the energy God so generously gives me.
~ Colossians 1:28-29

** The term liberal in this post has absolutely nothing to do with my political beliefs ;-) **

Ministry Support?

So I've found myself in a quandary. What am I supposed to do about ministry? Believe me when I say that I really want to be a full-time minister. But I have tried (and failed) to come up with ways to sustain myself in ministry and I simply can't seem to make the numbers fit. But I have a good job and some great friends and life should be great and when the time is right the church will pay my way and things will be dandy.

Then I go and hang out with my students. When I’m with them outside of church and outside of your typical ministry activities I feel incredibly selfish. Do you know the term abandonment? Believe me when I use this term as I don’t take it very lightly. Last night I picked up a student and three of his friends. At any given time there are between 3 and 9 students living at this particular house. That night not everybody could go because my truck only holds five. All of these kids that stay there have been abandoned. The house where they stay has two adults living there, and not to be overly critical but I would hardly call them parents. I won’t divulge details but let’s leave it at the fact that nine times out of ten when I’m over there the mom is nowhere to be found and the step-dad (who didn’t father any of these kids) is drunk and doesn’t care about anything.

So back to the kid that needed a ride. He needed a ride to his house so his parents could take him to court the next day. The house is in McCalla and he needed a ride to Brookwood (which is like FOREVER away). Yeah he walked to McCalla some weeks ago and has been living there for a while. Well he was due in court and needed to get home so charges weren’t brought up against HIS PARENTS for abandoning him. Of course they refused to come get him so that’s where the great big blue taxi cab (aka my truck) comes into play. Well either way I don’t mind because I love hanging out with these kids. The kid that was due in court and another friend at the house BOTH BECAME BELIEVERS over the weekend. I had nothing to do with that btw I just wanted to brag on them. I suppose what I’m getting at is these kids are awesome. They are totally raw and street savvy and their parents couldn’t give a flying flip about them. They’ve been kicked out of school and kicked out of their homes but their smart enough to know how to survive and are smart enough to know they need the Lord. To me that means they’re awesome. And it makes me feel selfish because my life has been all cream puffs and pastries comparatively. What makes it worse is these kids live off of next to nothing. Some get food stamps while others “borrow” money from their parents or relatives when they’re around. They have never stolen anything from me but of course I buy them dinner every chance I get.

But bringing me to my point. Why should the church spend $25k a year on me so that I can hang out with these students when the money would be better spent buying food and healthcare for them? It simply doesn’t make sense. What’s worse is I would have to justify it to the kids. They would see me having a job where I got to hang out with them but they don’t get paid to do that. So the church would be setting the example of “hey if you make yourself into a comfortable little Christian we’ll pay you to do nothing”. I know that’s not the right attitude but I’m telling you that is what these students would think. They wouldn’t be bitter about it but what example am I setting if I quit my job to hang out with students all day?

And then there is [1 Corinthians 9:3-14]. Basically Paul is saying “hey you people take some money and support those who spread the Gospel”. Not that I’m bragging but I feel like I do that. But that’s the quandary. It is Biblical for me to be supported in this, and yet the world in which my students live is much more worthy of support. I could write a book about the cultural and social dynamics at work here. It is mind bottling to say the least.

Remember at the beginning of this post I said I can't seem to make the numbers fit. What that means is I take down all of the bills and living expenses I have and then I take what incoming I need in order to pay for that stuff. When it comes to ministry supporting me it never seems to add up. But maybe that IS my problem. Where's the faith in that? If I know I have guaranteed income then its not really a sacrifice I'm making is it? I digress. I can’t seem to let go of control of those things but I’m scared to move out in faith if I’m unsure of what God says. Either way my students and I need some freakin’ money.