The Death of the Diet

Have you ever experienced frustration with dieting, working out, or trying to quit smoking, drinking, whatever?

I believe everyone has their vices, and typically people would like to deal with those vices. But what in the hell makes it so hard? It is like I really want to diet. I really want to loose some weight. I really want to work out hard and build some muscle tone. But I always manage to find ways to take it easy on my workouts, or to sneak food, or to ignore my sense of self-discipline.

For a long time I was convinced it all came back to an issue with my heart. I believed that somewhere in my heart there was sin, and it kept me from dealing with these "strongholds" or vices. I call it a stronghold because it is a place the devil has made himself present in my life, and it seems difficult to get him out. They are strongholds of the devil, its just weird to think about it like that.

SO...I'm frustrated with dieting. Again. What's upsetting is I feel like I have been on a strict diet since February, but if you look at what I have been eating you can hardly tell I've been on a diet at all. So mentally I have been trying very hard, but physically I haven't been trying that much.

It is very freakin' frustrating to think about it like that. It is like there's this massive disconnect between my body, my mind, and my spirit. In my mind, I want so badly to do the right thing to meet my goals, but I'm rarely capable of pushing myself to my potential. This struggle makes my body suffer because I'm not pushing as hard, it makes my spirit weak because it is chocked up as another failure, and those both influence my mind. And I find that incredibly ironic because my new years resolution was to get my mind, body, and spirit back to a healthy equilibrium.

"21-23It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

24I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

25The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."

The resolve is always Christ. I am just finding that hard to be applicable. How is Jesus going to help me stay motivated to eat vegetables instead of M & Ms, eat turkey breast instead of red meat, or put down the caffeine for water? How in the world is my spiritual belief in Christ going to influence my weight loss plan?

I don't know. That's what I'm having trouble with. Maybe that is the issue of my heart. That I don't value Christ highly enough in my life that I find the motivation to keep going. So I momentarily give up. I give up when I sneak M & Ms into my lunch bag. I give up when I skip running on the treadmill. That goes back to Christ. I love God enough to realize I have to be healthy and make some difficult changes in my life, but not enough to follow through with those changes.

Oy, help me God. I want to value Christ more in my life.