to be blessed

In honor of this being Easter weekend, I am going to take a moment and reflect on where I am spiritually right now...

For some reason I want to compare "to be blessed" with "to be continued". I guess that's where I am spiritually right now, it is "to be continued".

I feel like I was running through the desert in 2006. I was in some dry spots, there wasn't anything very refreshing spiritually, no water, no shade (I was constantly in the heat), I could relax a little at night when I could hide from the sun. But I was making progress in that desert. I was running when I could. Pushing forward, forcing myself to to go farther, forcing myself to keep on going no matter what. Never give up, never give in (as I've heard a famous lyricist once say).

Just as in 2006, I started off running in 2007. I was moving and shaking. Making good decisions, making progress. Finally, I found some contentment with the desert I was in. I had found some friends along the way. I wasn't alone anymore. Finally I had people to share with. People who knew what commitment it took to keep running. I started to believe that I could live in the desert, that I could survive there. I started to slow down, I didn't stop running, but I switched from a sprint to a jog. Finally, some relief.

And then it happened. Whooosh. Quicksand. In an instant, I lost complete control. Up to my neck in hot muddy sand. Something had happened to me in that desert that literally stopped my spiritual journey all together. 2007 was bleak after that. No running. No water. Exhaustion from it all. The weight of the sand on my chest squeezed me. I had little left. I've been in this quicksand, unable to fight back. Knowing the struggle of getting out might take my life, but sitting in this hot box trap is not a healthy way to live.

There's always hope...

Slowly. I recover. I realize that I'm not alone in this sand trap. I have friends who have fallen too. Though I may not be able to lift myself out, I know that we can lift each other out. We lose some along the way. Together we grab hold, cling together, fighting with passion and persistence. Together we refuse to give in to death.

Now I'm close to being completely out. I'm no longer sinking. I'm starting to recover, to regain strength, to regain passion. I start to jog. Suddenly I stop looking back at the death that lays behind, and I look towards the path in front of me. I see a jungle. It is very green, full of sweet fruits, and refreshing water. I thirst for the jungle. I see it clearly now. Soon I will begin sprinting again.

In the back of my mind I know the jungle presents challenges. There are dangers waiting for me in there as well, but there's also nourishment. Its where I'm called to survive. I'm not a desert dweller, I'm a jungle lover. The jungle is where I was born.

The jungle is imminent now. I will be there soon. God will bring the jungle to me, I know it. I believe it in faith. He trusts me though I do not trust myself. He encourages me even when I discourage myself. He is my rescuer. He is my resolve.

Anyway, big Easters plans?

Zane