Who Put the Chapters in the Bible Anyway?

Did you know Anthony Hopkins plays Paul in a movie. I find that pretty dang funny.

So I wanted to update my blog. Well actually let me be honest. The office is pretty quiet right now so I didn't have anyone to talk to so I decided to update my blog. Well now that you feel second best-ed let me post something of value.

I love this scripture. It makes me feel like a complete screw up but it helps me realize I'm not alone as a screw up. Paul himself was a total mess, and somehow knowing that he was a mess makes me feel better for being a mess. Lets get to it.

"21-23 It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

24 I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."

So that's in Romans 7 at the very end. I read this and it is truly depressing. Think about it: the freakin' Apostle Paul is saying he's at the end of his rope because I can't seem to do right by denying sin. So if Paul can't do it how am I suppose to? So instead I typically try to ignore my sin...

I mean I know I'm a screw up. I know I have sin in my life that needs to be dealt with. But I can live with myself because in the back of my mind I'm thinking that I WILL deal with it someday. EVENTUALLY I will figure things out, get on my feet and get this whole mess off of my back. But then I read this and I'm like what's the point? Is Paul saying we can't conquer sin, or we can't do right even when we want to? Depressing eh?

Rabbit Trail: So I'm just calling it, whoever put the chapters in the Bible...you know the numbers and verses and stuff...well they weren't always right. I don't think anyway. You have to remember this is a letter to the Roman Church. He did not notate his letters with chapters and verses. Somebody added that later. Well here is why they were wrong: You have to read chapter 8 after you read chapter 7. If you read to the end of 7 you'll just be like SCREW THIS!!! NO. Don't do that, you've got to keep going. So here we go.

"1-2With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

3-4God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that."

That's the first part of Romans 8. So Paul kinda ties it all up right there. The problem is so easily solved with Jesus.

I think the reason I love this scripture so much is because it describes my life with God. I mess up, some days A LOT. But at the end of the night, if I take the time to talk with my God, He is always like "its ok dude, I love you and you love me. I forgive you." You know how awesome that makes me feel? So awesome. God loves me. So much so that Jesus came, and died. Now I have grace. I have mercy. I am found! That's pretty cool.

What I get most from thinking about this scripture is that I should not dwell on sin. That's what Paul was saying in 7. When you focus sooo much on doing right (obeying the law) its a major blow when you do wrong. Talk about a let down. But if you focus on Christ it won't matter. Christ's death reverses the grip of sin on us, and replaces it with a one on one, straight up, relationship with the Father in Heaven.

Now that is why I love this scripture! So next time somebody is whining about Romans 7 (though I haven't heard much whining from people other than myself) just tell 'em to read 8 and it'll be alright.

Holiness Kinda

I've always considered myself to be a pretty liberal Christian. When I say liberal I mean the opposite of legalistic. My pastor, Mike, explains it like this: A legalistic Christian sets up and enforces rules and cultural standards that protect us from sin, whereas liberal Christian forsakes all of that for more of a try not to sin but don't get too worried about it approach. Both of these ways of thinking (I refuse to call them theologies) translate to people differently.

Some people seem to do really well under a legalistic approach to God. You know some people just need those tangible boundaries and a clear idea of when they've crossed the line. Others, like me, seem to feel more comfortable and open to God with a more liberal approach. Of course both have there pros and cons, and I'm not here trying to sell anyone on one way or the other.

What I'm getting at is I've realized some problems with my liberal approach. Mike says that the liberal way of thinking often gets confused as a license to sin. What he's saying is that people eventually will train themselves to think that sin is alright because we've got grace and mercy. As long as God forgives us we mights as well do whatever the heck we want right? Well clearly that is a problem.

Finally here is an even more quirky part of the whole no boundaries kind of thinking. The more mature I get the more liberal I get. And I mean mature like closer to God. The closer to God I get the more I realize that sin IS covered and that His Grace and His Mercy is much much bigger than my faults. Even more so I find I have more grace and mercy and forgiveness for others. So am I reinforcing a loophole in my beliefs, and in turn in instilling these loopholes in others?

I had a great conversation last night and we examined this exact problem. Ultimately we agreed that a real-deal hold nothing back relationship with God is the key. Taking our American Christian culture as an example, what are we left with if we strip away the rules, the boundaries, and the cultural standards we get from legalism? Now what if we also get rid of the license to sin we get from liberalism? What is left to help us deal with sin? By removing these methods of sin, or methods that prohibit sin, we are left with our relationship with Christ. If we are Christ-centric then following rules won't matter, just like that license to sin becomes a pile of bull-malarkey. If we are striving for the heart of God then we land on Jesus, and Him alone. That's all that really matters. See the scripture below, its spelled out pretty plainly.

So yeah I feel like I'm pretty liberal. This post started because I'm feeling very convicted in some areas, which as a liberal Christian is an odd feeling. But I do feel God drawing me to Holiness and frankly it sucks giving up things that please me. But rather than focusing on my past mistakes, and rather than agonizing over the sacrifices yet to be made, I chose to follow Christ. I will let him be the example, and critic, and savior.

To be mature is to be basic. Christ! No more, no less. That's what I'm working so hard at day after day, year after year, doing my best with the energy God so generously gives me.
~ Colossians 1:28-29

** The term liberal in this post has absolutely nothing to do with my political beliefs ;-) **

I wish I felt blessed...

At church we are reading through the sermon on the mount. You know, the story where Jesus stands on top of a rock and preaches to a large crowd that followed him there.

To think of a bunch of idiots following a vagabond around waiting for him to say something when most days he ignores them completely, and then finally one day he just jumps on top of this rock and says...

"You are blessed when your life sux". Of course that is me paraphrasing but seriously that is what he said. Go check it out, maybe I'm the only idiot in this story (Mathew 5/Luke 6). Mad props to Josh btw for knowing exactly where those verses were off the top of his head.

Anywhos, back to my point. The Man said to a crowd that had followed him and said you are blessed when you are a wreck, when you feel useless, when you have nothing left to live for, when you've screwed things up beyond the point of reconciliation. Blessed! The reason you are blessed he explains: Because there is less of you there to screw it up more.

Really? That's an interested point Jesus. So are You (the Son of the Creator of the whole Freakin' Universe) telling me that if I live my life as a walking disaster to the point I fall into a pit of despair I'll get to the point where I have absolutely no reason whatsoever to depend on myself and I will have to...HAVE TO...rely on your help. Hmmmm....

Dang it. I should screw up more often. Or maybe I should stop masquerading as a blessed person and just be honest.

So I totally blew off studying the Bible tonight so I can sit on my porch and smoke. I sat there for like 15 minutes in silence, and then I walked inside and wrote this down. Shocking. I'm eating a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats right this second and like a light show just went off in my head and I wrote this down. I can't believe this is real.

Dang impressive. I just got f-bombed by my Lord, my Savior and of course...Sarayu.

Meditation, Part 3

I will now answer the question of what to do, essentially "how", to start meditating. You may have been hoping for some ancient chant, a zen-like monologue that will cleanse your spirit and highlight your soul, unfortunately for us all there is no such magic.

The way I meditate is simple. It can be summed up in one word...remember. I simply sit down and I begin to remember what God has done in my life.

Raj told me the easiest way to start meditating was to sit down and remember the most powerful moment in your spiritual life. He suggested that you start by remembering as many details as you can; where you were, who you were with, how you were sitting, what you were doing, what were you praying, the events that led up to that moment. After remembering the details, begin to remember the feeling, the emotion: Were you happy, were you sad, were you at rock bottom, did God comfort you?

Stay in that moment as long as you possibly can. Trying to remember the details helps you focus your mind, and once you are focused start to reflect on the glory of God at that moment. Do your best to stay focused. Cut out as much of the physical world as possible, so it can truly be just you and God. If your mind starts to wander, try to move onto another significant moment. If you can't quickly transition to another memory, then try to reflect on God. Always speak to Him and expect Him to speak back. Go into this with an open mind, and expect Him to meet you there. Focus on His presence. Try to feel His comforting hand. You might even transition into praising the Lord, and go with that.

When you're mind starts to wander too much, when you loose concentration, when you are thinking more about how hungry you are or how much your butt hurts...then its over. There's no point in forcing it. If you force it you'll just be bored, and you'll develop a distaste for meditation. You may only be able to meditate for 5 minutes. I usually only meditate for about 10. That's why we have to practice. Remember our talk yesterday? Just go with the flow, and give it another shot tomorrow.

That's it. No more excuses not to try right.

Last Disclaimer: I wanted to add, again, that I am a complete meditation noob. All of the things I shared here are based on my experiences since a few weeks back, and based on my short Indian friend. I just wanted to share with you because it has touched me. I just feel that it is relevant because I'm learning these techniques from a different culture, and I'm learning that it really works. Raj made the comment that Hindu gurus have been teaching these techniques to people for thousands of years, so there must be some Truth behind them. After trying for myself, I believe he is right.

Although there is some danger involved. The Bible says quite frankly that we should be mindful at all times. What that is saying to me is that we should not train ourselves to be "empty-minded". Thanks to Joey for pointing this out to me :) In other cultures, the purpose of meditation is often to clear your mind, to be at peace, to be in a tranquil state. As Christians, the purpose of meditation should never be to reach the state of an empty mind. I feel strongly that meditation is just a platform to reach God on a deeper level. Of course we should pray all of the time, but I felt I needed a way to have focused concentration and communion with Him. And I think I've found some great ways of doing that through meditation.

The big point here...is that we need to PRAY. Seriously PRAY. How often do we PRAY? Get it...

Well that's it. All that I know about meditation. If I reach any new levels of spiritual enlightenment I'll let you know :) I'm really hoping to have an experience like Ace Ventura where I reach a plane of floating on clouds and the Dali Lama is there to help me sort out my problems :P

Peace and Grace, Zane